anti rescue!
by wintersday
Summary: Wanda and Anti Wanda have been kidnapped! Its up to Cosmo and Anti Cosmo to save them! read and review. nonslash, sorry. CHAPTER 6 READY!
1. Chapter 1

Authors note:

Hi guys! Been very long since my last story (and it was a load of rubbish, sorry guys I posted it because I was in a bad mood)

Anyway, READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE AND GET A FREE COOKIE!

Disclaimer: I do not own fop, or its characters, Mr Hartman does because he's a genius!

Cosmo sat down at the table; it had been a long night. Everyday now Wanda cried, all he was doing was telling her that she was big; he was doing her a favour, right? Wrong! He was always taunting her, looking at other woman, calling her ugly. Wanda left that night; said she needed some time to think, but she had all the time in the world, why would she want the leave the house, just to think? Cosmo shrugged his shoulders; his stupidity got the best of him sometimes. As Wanda found out.

He got up and looked at the mail box through the window; the post man was having trouble opening it because Phillip the nickel had wedged himself in the hinge, Cosmo chuckled to himself and poofed outside to get the mail from the red faced mailman. TheLetter was addressed to Cosmo, he opened it and read:-

Dear, Cosmo

Your wife has been kidnapped. I have got her, you must solve this riddle to find out her location:-

I'm a small island, with lots of tea. I love to have fish "n" chips by the sea!

Second by second, your wife is slowly being tortured!

From,

Mr.?

Cosmo read- and re-read the letter again, then looked at the riddle again

"I'm a small island, with lots of tea, I love to eat fish and chips by the sea?" Cosmo read out load. "Uh? Is it Japan?" he said stupidly

Anti-Cosmo looked down at his tea; he was waiting for Anti-Wanda to come back from the shop, it was her first time going there, Anti-Cosmo taught her the way to get there, she said that she knew the way and that she'd be home soon, he started to worry, so he went to the mailbox too see what dreaded bills he got today.

All but one letter was not a bill, it was addressed to him, it read the same riddle; he rolled his eyes.

"What do they take me for? I'm not an idiot! It's Britain of course!" He chuckled, and reached for his waistcoat, not realising how long this day is going to be.

Authors note #2

Like it? I need to improve on something? Give me a review and I'll give you a cookie!

Press that blue button!


	2. Chapter 2

Note:

Hi all! Thank you too all those people who reviewed: Horsesforever, red panda bear, Kyria-16, darklite-spirt and vany! Thank you so much! Heres a cookie for all of you!

And another one for horsesforever! Thanks buddy!

Disclaimer: I don't own fop or its characters !

Cosmo started blankly at the riddle, his brain throbbing due to all the thinking he was doing, which wasn't that much, but it was a lot for cosmo. He managed to get out of the trance when the doorbell rung. Cosmo heard someone whistling the tune called "oh Britannia!" he opened the door to find his counterpart standing in the doorway, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Ah! Hello cosmo! Jolly good day isn't it?" anti-cosmo said with his trade mark evil grin. Cosmo blinked.

"How the hecks are you here?" he questioned, anti-cosmo sighed.

"I wanted too ask you a question." Cosmo gulped, he had borrowed his lawn mower last year and he had forgotten to bring it back because it had been blown up by him.

"Um...if you're asking about the lawn mower, well I..." he nervously stammered

"What lawn mower?"

"Never mind! What was that question you wanted to ask me?"

"Oh, yes that's right, the question." He wiped his monocle with a cloth from his pocket "did you get a letter this morning saying that your wife has been kidnapped?"

"Yes… why?"

"I got one too, I thought it was junk mail at first… did you find out the clue?" cosmo looked blankly at him

"It's Japan isn't it?" Anti-cosmo tutted. Cosmo looked down at his feet.

"It's Britain you bumbling idiot! I love Britain! It looks like, my dim-witted counterpart, that where taking a-a- oh what ever you Americans call them..."

"Road trip" cosmo corrected him. Anti-cosmo clicked his fingers.

"That's the one, a road trip, to save our wives! What you say cosmo?" cosmo looked down at his feet again and sighed.

"Wanda and I have split up…" tears started to form in cosmos eyes. Anti-cosmo patted his arm.

"Don't worry, anti-Wanda and I always used too argue all the time!"

Flashback

"WHY YOU BRITISH POSH BOY SMART-THING!" anti-Wanda screamed while throwing the good china at anti-cosmo, who had set up a trench between the sofa and the armchair.

"Fire at will!" anti-cosmo muttered "now-honey, what did we say about the good china? No throwing it… and we both agreed that we use teddy bears to throw instead, so why don't you put the china down and DON'T USE THE FLAME THROWER!"

Anti-wanda, somehow had found a magical flame thrower in the house, anti-cosmo managed to escape, but his bowler hat however, didn't make it, it was a crisp pancake. Anti-cosmo placed it in the palm of his hand and started sobbing.

"Uh... What's happened?" anti-Wanda looked around, there was total destruction. Who caused this, she did not know. She poofed up a dust pan and brush and handed it anti-cosmo, who glared after her.

End flashback

"wow." Cosmo blinked at anti-cosmo. Anti-cosmo smiled and looked at his pocket watch.

"Listen, we need to go to Britain, Wanda and anti-Wanda are located there, where? You say? I cannot tell, there maybe clues to where there hiding. Cosmo? Cosmo? COSMO!" cosmo jumped, he had been sleeping all the way through anti-cosmos speech.

"Honestly, no-wonder Wanda left you!" anti-cosmo said harshly. Cosmo sobbed.

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well, I managed too drag myself to do this chapter, that darn writers block will not get me! YOU HEAR ME WRITERS BLOCK! YOU WILL NOT GET ME!

anti-cosmo: ...

wanda: ...


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note: **hello! It is I, wintersday, back with another chapter for all you crazy people out there! Yes im talking to you::points at readers: and heres a llama for you!

**Reviewers: **I cannot thank you enough! You guys are great! You people are what makes me want to write more!

**Disclaimer:** don't own fop or its characters! Don't sue me!

**Chapter 3: the plan! **

Cosmos house was just like any other house. You could almost say it was an average house. Cosmo and Wanda couldn't afford a bigger house, even with magic; you weren't paid much for being a godparent, as it was a popular job.

Anti-Cosmo sat at cosmos computer, he was looking for the quickest transport too get too Britain. The trouble was, anti-Cosmo had only just escape prison, so there is high security everywhere. So he decided that the best way too get to Britain was either by boat or by plane. Anti-cosmo put his head in his hands. He always was sea sick on a boat. And he didn't have a licence to fly a plane.

He spent endless nights, working out a plan to get into Britain. Anti-Cosmo walked into kitchen with a tea in his hand, he was unshaven, had bags under his eyes and his hair was messy.

Cosmo sat at the table and stared at him.

"Morning" Cosmo said.

"Nghh" anti-Cosmo replied with a grunt, and sat down at the table and poofed up an English breakfast.

"You know, you eat that every morning, it's not good for you…" Cosmo said looking at him with a confused look upon his face. Anti-Cosmo glared at him.

The too both had there breakfast without any conversation. Once anti-Cosmo had finished his morning chores, he sat Cosmo down, with great trouble, because Cosmo was slightly hyper.

"Listen, I have a plan…" he looked at Cosmo, strait in the eyes. Cosmo sat there, staring. In the end anti-Cosmo sighed.

"So, you know what I've got to do?" he asked, with raised eyebrows.

"Nope. No idea." Cosmo smirked. Anti-Cosmo slapped his forehead. There was no way of getting to him at all.

The rest of the morning went smoothly, anti-Cosmo had to sneak back into his house to get his bags packed, and he returned to cosmos house without being detected. Many posters were of him, saying to the fairy's that he was dangerous, he smirked.

He couldn't just "poof" into Britain, all magical creatures must go through a search and it was too risky for him. Anti-Cosmo chose to go as a human, in a plane, even though he didn't have a licence, so he spent the rest of the day looking up books about planes. He was going to fly to Britain tonight, but first, he needed some rest, he but the book he was reading down, took off his reading glasses and muttered goodnight to Cosmo who was sleeping on the floor.

**Authors note #2! **Sorry it's short. Anyway, give me a review, go on! I dare ya! Lol!

**P.S: **2 boxes of cookies to horsesforever, ya crazy person, you!

PRESS THE REVIEW BUTTON! Please?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N** hello people! It is I! Wintersday, finally managed to write another chappie.

I would like to thank all the people who reviewed. I love you guys! gives you an anti-Cosmo plushie

**Horses4ever: **hiya! This is for you!

**on with the show**

Emerald eyes opened. Anti-Cosmo awoke, so did Cosmo, both yawning loudly.

"Good morning chap." Muttered anti-Cosmo as he rubbed away the sleep from his eyes.

"Don't you mean good night?" Questioned Cosmo, anti-Cosmo looked outside the window; it was pitch black, fairy cabs picking up fairy's from nightclubs.

"Sorry, force of habit." Anti-Cosmo grumpily, he did not like to be corrected by his counterpart.

"What's the plan?" Cosmo looked dumbfounded as his short term memory loss kicked in.

"We shall go to the airport, sneak in, and find a small plane, I shall fly the plane toward England, and we will rendezvous with the people who have our wives."

"Can I come?" Cosmo started bouncing on the beds.

"Cosmo, what does the word "we" mean?"

"Chicken?"

"No, it means both of us!" anti-Cosmo retorted angrily. "And now, get dressed in all black, ok?"

"Yep." Anti-Cosmo left the room to get changed. He came back dressed in a black tuxedo, even the shirt underneath was black.

"Finished!" shouted Cosmo; he was wearing a Halloween costume, of a witch in fact.

"Cosmo… it's not Halloween, and a witches costumes are for girls you ignorant boob!" shouted anti-Cosmo. Cosmo looked furious.

"Says you who were dressed up as a bunny on your stag night!" Anti-cosmo blushed.

"The boys dared me too…"

"But you didn't bother taking it off!"

"It was comfy!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Just get dressed!"

"But I am!" Moaned Cosmo.

"Argh! I never met anyone so annoying!" cosmos eyes weld up with tears.

"B...But I thought you loved me?" anti-Cosmo blinked.

"When did I say that?

"Say what?"

"Never mind." Anti-Cosmo let Cosmo go in his witches' costume (complete with hat!). They poofed outside fairy world's tourist airport. Anti-Cosmo taking in the surroundings, the many planes in their shelters, all they need to find is one they can take…

A/N short I know, anyway, can you review please?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/n** hey guys, im just gonna be honest, I don't have writers block, im just plain lazy. You cannot blame writers block for everything.

**Disclaimer:** don't own FOP or its characters they belong too butch Hartman. The other characters are a figure of my imagination.

**Dedications!:**

**Steve Irwin**: im gonna miss you badly, I loved your animal programs, and you're a legend! I'll never forget you!

**Sanderson der kobold: **hiya, I hope you're doing well (::hugs::) you're so cute!

**Horsesforever**: ah…. My good buddy! I hope you do well in what ever you do. And I hope that anti-Cosmo has stopped doing all that bad luck to you LOL

Anti-Cosmo scanned the shelters. The wind brushed past his pointy ears like silk, as coldness washed over his body. He shivered.

"We're going to have to find a plane soon." He muttered, his teeth chattering.

"What about that one over there?" Cosmo pointed over to a small shelter near by. Big, muscled security guards patrolled nearby, armed with the latest fairy-military equipment available. Helmets protected their head, and chest armour protected their cold, shallow hearts.

"It looks like security's tight." Whispered anti-Cosmo to his knowledgably challenged counter part. Who was playing tic-tak-toe with a couple of rocks he found on the floor.

"look! I did it! I catched them all!" Cosmo jumped up and down happily. Anti-Cosmo rolled his eyes, and grabbed cosmos collar, and yanked him over to where he was.

"You bumbling idiot! Shut up! Cant you see those security guards over there!!" anti-Cosmo snarled. Cosmo stuck out his tongue playfully.

"Yeah! They all look like trolls!" Cosmo laughed.

"Cosmo. You can't go around calling people that."

"Why not?"

"It's not nice."

"I always call Wanda a troll." Cosmo laughed to himself. Anti-Cosmo slapped cosmos face. (A/N yay for anti-Cosmo!!)

"You stupid fool. Don't you see that's why she left you? She hates you. And I for one cannot blame her!" anti-Cosmo spat. Cosmos eyes widened. His mouth was agape.

"You called her fat, ugly and stupid." anti-Cosmo said truthfully, folding his arms. "I cannot count the number of times she's come over my house crying. Asking why where you nasty to her, why was you snarling at her, why you sleep in a different bed to her, she even asked me why do you treat a stupid, worthless piece of metal for whom you call Phillip. You make me sick Cosmo and I'm glad that I'm the opposite of you." He stopped when Cosmo collapsed against him crying and shaking with grief.

"Cosmo!?" anti-Cosmo looked shocked.

"Your right." Cosmo sniffed.

"I'm always right; you should know that by now."

"Uh huh. Im so stupid. I wish I can take back what I said. She's so special; I don't know why she went for me. I mean, look at me! I've got no muscles!" Cosmo lifted up his top to anti-Cosmo.

"UGH!! PUT IT AWAAYY!!!" Anti-Cosmo covered his eyes.

"I know I haven't got muscles. But you didn't really need to scream like that…" Cosmo said.

"How was I supposed to react then?"

"I don't know. What about you? Since you're the opposite of me. You must have muscles. Can I see?" Cosmo lifted his eyebrows at anti-Cosmo as he sighed.

"Um…okay then…" (A/N ladies… and possibly gentlemen, a warning, please do not faint. Or scream. Or drool over the keyboard LOL)

Anti-Cosmo lifted up his waistcoat. And his waist had a small outline a six-pack. His darkened skin made them look bigger. Cosmo let out a gasp, and anti-Cosmo put his waistcoat back down.

"Now that we have finished comparing bodies. That one looks suitable." Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo sneaked over into the shadows. Anti-Cosmo glared at a nearby guard who had his back turned to him. He whispered to Cosmo to be silent. He then sneaked up to the guard, and grabbed him from behind. Covering his mouth with his hand, the other was restraining his arms. The guard dropped his weapon. Anti-Cosmo kicked it away. Forcing him to walk, he led him to where Cosmo was; Cosmo took out his wand and pointed it at him, with frowned eyes. Anti-Cosmo tied his arms and legs up, and put a gag in his mouth. The guard glared at them while mumbling words no-one can understand.

"What was that dear boy? 12 years of school, and you got a rubbish job? Not my problem. You shouldn't have been busy trying to chat up that girl you liked" anti-Cosmo grinned evilly. The guard was still glaring at them.

Anti-Cosmo took the keys out of his pocket. And then stole all of the guard's clothes, living him shivering in the winter's coldness. Now dressed as a security guard. Anti-Cosmo looked at Cosmo.

"Trouble is now old chap. We only have one costume… looks as if you're going to have to be a criminal…" anti-Cosmo grinned at Cosmo in a "please will you help me" smile.

"Oh... No way, there's nothing in this world that will make me change my mind." Cosmo said awkwardly.

"How about a cookie?"

"Done!" Cosmo snatched the cookie out of anti-Cosmo outstretched hand. Evil geniuses always carry a spare cookie in their pocket.

They walked onto the air field. Anti-Cosmo took out his baton, with Cosmo walking in front; anti-Cosmo took hold of both of cosmos hands and locked them behind cosmos back. While poking him with the baton, anti-Cosmo led both of them past a security guard.

"Hey bob, didJa catch another crook tonight? If ya carry on like this, you'll be getting mega bucks!" said the stupid, crooked teethed, fat old guard. Anti-Cosmo stopped.

"Uh… ya… much than getting dat amount of moneh I still get." Trying his best to hide his British accent. He gulped. The stupid guard stared at him.

"Gosh bob, that cold is sure getting to yeh! You sound British! And you look a little…blue…" he scratched his bald patch on his head. The thick flakes of dandruff falling of his head onto the thick layer of snow on his shoulders. Anti-Cosmo looked horrified.

"Uh... Yaw? I gotta go an look this varmit up!" Anti-Cosmo started to push Cosmo, forcing him to walk quickly away. When a voice started talking.

"YOU TWO STOP RIGHT THERE!!"

Anti-Cosmo and Cosmo looked at each other and gulped.

**A/n **

**CLIFF HANGER!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL **

Wow! A long chapter! I done it this long because I got banned from the internet, I argued with my parents. But now where ok. (Love you guys!)

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW. **

**REIVEWS MAKE ME HAPPY... AND NO FLAMING PWEEEESE! **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/n** yes I know. Been 3 months, but heck, I'm not going to rush myself… right?

Anyway, **THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED, I LOVE YOU ALL! Lol joking!**

**Warnings: **_a part in this chapter is quite violent for the young of age; I put it in this style of writing so that you can avoid it if you so do wish._

**PLEASE REVIEW! EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT A MEMBER OF YOU CAN STILL REVIEW!!**

**on with the story!**

**CHAPTER 6: ESCAPING.**

They stopped, their breaths were held like a gun with the safety catch on. Both turned, they faced the security guard.

"Show me your pilots' license." The guard ordered, anti-Cosmo glanced at his counter part, he had to think quickly.

"Well… uh... You see, I'm on holiday... And, In Britain you don't need a pilot's license to fly." He made his British accent more pronounced than before. He took out his leather wallet and took out his prisoner's license. "Here, look, that plane over there." He pointed to the plane they wanted to take. "That's the _prisoner_ plane, so this is my license to fly it." He looked smug. The security guy looked at him weirdly.

"But why are you holding a sign saying _dangerous_? And why are you wearing a strait-jacket? With 2 police officers holding you down?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow. Anti-Cosmo giggled, and removed his monocle and polished it with his waistcoat.

"**Fashion **my good fellow… all to do with fashion, it makes you look good. Don't you think I look... what do you Americans say… hot?"

The security guard glared at the picture, then at anti-Cosmo.

"Yes it is fashionable… and I must say you look quite_… manly." _He sighed. Anti-Cosmo smirked, he took his jail license from the guard, he turned on his heal and walked towards the plane, with Cosmo singing in joy behind him.

---

The room was dark. You could only see one other figure in the room, your eyes slowly adjust to the light, that figure has the same hair style as you, and eyes... but the skin... it is a dark blue… a very rare color... and her teeth, there crooked, and un-even. This figure is slumped in a chair, just like you, it's knocked out. You then close your eyes and think how she had fainted.

"_Tell me you love me." A man with a slightly deep voice spat in your face, you recoil. His hideous breath makes you dizzy, **SLAP**, your face suddenly jerks to the left, the force leaving a mark on your cheek. His face is close to yours, you could smell his sweat, fags and the alcohol on his breath. He then walks over to the other figure, and then slaps her, he repeatedly punches her, and her pleas go unnoticed as her wails of terror fill your ears._

You suddenly open your eyes, the figure stirs.

"Hello?" you ask, your voice shaking. It looks at you with big frightened eyes. You try to stay calm in this moment of terror. The figure utters a startled cry. Like an animal.

----

Anti-Cosmo signaled to Cosmo to get into the plane, he pulled the propeller down fast, making the engine start. He scrambled onto the wings, checking if everything was in place, ready for take off. He went into the , tested the pedals, adjusting them in places, he noted that the petrol tank was full, and that everything was ready. He steered the plane onto the taxi way, and until they reached the run-way. He heard angry voices.

"Cosmo check who's following us." Anti-Cosmo ordered, Cosmo looked behind him and made a gulping sound.

"A-c… um... there running after us…" Cosmo spoke quietly. Anti-Cosmo put the plane in full throttle, the plane making load noises as they gained speed.

"Who are they?"

"The security guards, their coming after us!"

"Ok. Hold onto something." Cosmo gripped to sides of his seat, as anti-Cosmo pulled the maneuvering stick up. The planes wheels left the ground as they went airborne. The chilly wind combing through their hair, the icy air hitting their faces like a thousand knifes stabbing there faces. Soon the air base below them looked small, like a Lego village. The tiny lights of the village nearby soon looked like a little match flame in the blanket of darkness.

Anti-Cosmo let out an evil laugh.

"Cosmo! We've done it! We have a plane! Now we're flying towards England! Tally whole!" he smirked Joyce fully.

**_A/n: whew. Another chapter over, please review! No flaming please!_**


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